Where do I start? With my dad’s phone call instructing me to go to the RiteAid for Anti-Monkey Butt Powder or Brian’s conversation at RiteAid today explaining to the employee what exactly Anti-Monkey Butt Powder is?
The RiteAid story is pretty good. So Brian walks into RiteAid on his lunch break, wanders the aisles looking for Anti-Monkey Butt Powder, and finally asks an employee. “Where’s the Anti-Monkey Butt Powder?”
“What’s Anti-Monkey Butt Powder?”
“Well,” Brian replies, unperturbed. “My wife is going on a motorcycle trip and her dad said to get some Anti-Monkey Butt Powder.”
They go to the checkout counter. The employee calls out to the clerk, “You got any Anti-Monkey Butt Powder?”
“Anti-Monkey Butt Powder! We’ve had a run on that today! I’ve got one bottle of Anti-Monkey Butt Powder left behind the counter.”
With that, Brian fulfills his mission, and I’ve followed my dad’s advice. When he called yesterday, I thought for a rather long time that he was kidding. He finally convinced me there is such a product as Anti-Monkey Butt Powder, and swears it is critical to the well-being of my bottom on our motorcycle trip.
This man has ridden a motorcycle from Santa Rosa, New Mexico, to Lexington, Tennessee — 1006 miles in 16 hours and 45 minutes. (This qualifies him for “Iron Butt,” or so he informs me.) So when he talks about the state of a bottom after riding all day, I listen. And so I sent my husband, good sport that he is, to get me some Anti-Monkey Butt Powder.
So what is this stuff? Talc, calamine and fragrance. (I wonder what fragrance they think is appropriate for something called Anti-Monkey Butt Powder.)
Anti Monkey Butt Powder is specially formulated to absorb excess sweat and reduce frictional skin irritation.
Ideal for butt busting activities such as truck driving, motorcycling, bicycling, horse back riding, and extreme sports. May also be applied inside footwear, under sports pads, and other areas prone to chafing.
Other areas prone to chafing? I’ll leave that one alone. But I’ll take my dad’s word for it and toss my Anti-Monkey Butt Powder in my bag for the trip.